My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
