So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
