love makes seman taste better
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
