oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're breaking my sexual little heart
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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