I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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