Kiss
Puke
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
