Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize