So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
