I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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