Can i not drive my cunt home
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
