he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
