As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
