Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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