You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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