This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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