I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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