I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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