Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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(407): View more from Florida

Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...

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(816): View more from Missouri

Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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(224): View more from Illinois

It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.

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(205): View more from Alabama

It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview

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