You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
