Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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