I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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