I love black thongs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
