OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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