We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
