Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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