so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
