That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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