Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
