How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
