i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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