You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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