i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
