Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
