i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
