she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
