why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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