But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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