part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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