Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
