I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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