dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can vaginas get frostbite?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
