I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
