"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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