New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
