I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro