ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?