I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
