no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
