Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
