if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
