That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
