so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize