I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
