Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
