i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
