Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
