Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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