I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.