never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.