Do you still have your period?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..