I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.