Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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