can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
